I'm sitting on my back porch watching birds dive bomb overgrown flowers and wondering why I can't teach my cat to mow. He needs to earn his keep somehow.
"Life isn't unfolding quite the way you expected."
I don't look over, even if it is the Almighty. I feel rather than see him sink into the pink lawn chair beside me. "I thought it would be different," I admit begrudgingly. "I had an epipheny for God's sake."
He chuckles and I have sense enough to blush. "Sorry."
"You're referring to the voice advising you 'not to hide your light'?"
I do look at him this time. "You actually read my posts?"
He smiles. "What kind of Father would I be if I didn't?"
I try not to dwell too much on the warm feeling spreading throughout my system with that statement. I stare back out into the yard. "I thought my life would be different after that...all full of meaning and warm fuzzies." I sound bitter even to my own ears.
"You expected life to be different," he repeats gently. "But are you?"
I turn to him. "Me?"
"Yes, you. How can you expect your life to change if you don't?"
"But, I don't know how to change." It sounds lame even to my ears.
"I think you do."
"Are you sure you're not giving me too much credit?"
He ignores that. "I know what you're capable of."
"I'm glad you do," I grumble.
"Choose one thing to change." I start to say something but he stops me with a look. "Just one...that's all I'm asking. You might be surprised what happens."
We fall silent as I consider his words. "I don't suppose I could work on the fact that I don't eat nearly enough chocolate?" I ask hopefully.
"Perhaps that could be second on your list."
I nod, still hesistant, but not quite as alone as before.
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